1. |
Nerves Grow Rust
03:31
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Nerves Grow Rust
nerves grow rust, but you whistle along
voice robust and sure
i would sleep in the belly of earth
just to keep you warm
in malls you watch people consigned
to gods you’d never give the time
cause prayer requires you set your coffee down again
you veer between warm words and slurs
some i correct, some i defer
time is hard to stop and harder to amend
you say: that’s really no excuse,
for kids who starve before their youth
for we who spit all beauty out before the chew
what kind of god would let that be?
and then you cough and pat my knee
and as we rise i sense that you can barely move
you whisper: this is not some old curse
but the way we are
i would sleep in the belly of earth
just to keep you warm
the vendors act like you’re not there
you find a comb to slick your hair
then the casino puts a diamond in your eye
i’m done with my bacon and eggs
you roll your eyes, ‘don’t overstay.’
like there’s an hourglass draining somewhere in the sky
by now you’d think i would be bored
with cities i’ll never afford
and just watch lines form in the sandbox of your face
but i’m still out here chasing ghosts
you see them too, i’m sure. i know.
believe me, every time i whistle it’s for you.
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2. |
All of My Heroes
04:40
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All of My Heroes
all of my heroes are dead
and who am i, if not for them?
all of my heroes are dead
and they don’t know that i’m aware
all of my heroes are dust
marching in a line off the rocky bluff
for years i followed behind
but now baby, i would rather stay alive
all of my heroes are dead
stiff middle fingers under vacant stares
all of my heroes are caught
in webs of shit and sin and want
all of my heroes are dead
sometimes i feel just like them
lost in the sewers of hope
palms out, compassing through the smoke
all of my heroes are gods
i call down so i won’t give up
all of my heroes are prayers
i should maybe replace, at least repair
all of my heroes are dead
sound the bells, hold your lanterns up
all of my heroes are dead
now this endless night belongs to us
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3. |
Unknow Yourself
02:06
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Unknow Yourself
long before mirrors
we’d lock our paws
and ask each other what we saw
in our cushion fort
you spat out beans
like half-chewed futures ribboning
i don’t wanna know who i am
i dont wanna know how i can
i don’t wanna know who i am
i dont wanna know how i can
there is no sin there is no merit
there’s just the treadmarks of our parents
and that’s wrong too
i the young con!
in winter’s palm,
i made you lick the monkeybars
and you were stuck again
if i could punch
my younger face
i’d leave it without any teeth
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4. |
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I Want To Guard You From Boredom
puberty came late to me and so did everything else
drifting between underdog and also-ran
but as for you, you came to me in a crescendo of silence
on a filthy strip of sidewalk where day settled like a scab
you ordered extra avocado:
of course i wanna know your shadow
i slid the blade across the table:
“you be cain and i’ll be abel”
i want to guard you from boredom
on venice we pass thin old men in leather playing chess
“i’m addicted to epiphany”, you warily confess
when you leave me you’ll be sensible as matching kitchenware
i suppose the song is writing me but it’s taking fucking years
you taught yourself to play piano:
of course i want to know your shadow
i slid the blade across the table:
“you be cain and i’ll be abel”
i want to guard you from boredom
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5. |
Inertia
02:12
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Inertia
oh, inertia, i know you so well
you never go out
you’d rather sit down
strung out in the seventh coffee shop circle of hell
the dreams that you once had are gone
mouth to mouth with roadkill
gold star for aimless goodwill
eyes bloodshot from imagining till
the dreams that you once had are gone
comfort is no use
so won’t you punch the bruise
oh inertia, how’s next week instead?
oh, inertia, i know you so well
your hair shirt of skin
your shit-eating grin
passed out in the rotted tub of a sideroad motel
the dreams that you once had are gone
oh inertia, how’s next week instead?
see i’d love to stay
but i’m being erased
i am water wound around nothing again
the dreams that i once had are gone
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6. |
My Good Grades
03:28
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My Good Grades
everybody on the floor
don’t let me see you move an inch
there’s four things worth dying for
believe me none of them is this
keep one hand where i can see it
with that one clear out the till
i swear you’ve got my brother’s chin
shit i should prolly call him still
so watch me now
i’m not ashamed
look what i did with my good grades
you all look scared
i feel ok
look what i did with my good grades
you will know who i am
tell your puppy to shut up
throw me the bag on second thought
am i talking to myself? oh,
does the wind here always howl like god?
come on, i have no regrets
this is a boutique for fancy pets
built in the ice caps’ melting silhouette
your whole town should not exist
we’re all thieves but i have dreams
beneath the balaclava and gun
if la rents hadn’t risen ten percent
we might even get along
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7. |
The World Is Ours
01:20
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no it isn't
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8. |
Die Old
05:10
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Die Old
scrawled in my blood, this list's too long
of brilliant things i never did
or i did wrong
i kick the dirt to pass the time
i used to sing in public when
you were alive
i crawl up the montecito canyon
smoke a cigarette though i have quit and
watch women with four dogs and angry bald men
with muscles down below
up here where the ancient garbage blossoms
picking through the ruins of my conscience
here among the carcasses of trees i
can barely plant my feet
die old (gang vox)
what am i so afraid of
you stare unblinking at the sun
yeah every song's about control and we have none
i knock on every shuttered pane
no food goes down when you’re busy vanishing
in the chaos you cannot remember
how to warm a heart pregnant with winter
and anyway electrical’s the one thing getting paid
look into the mirror for too long and
everything’s staples slowly loosen
hold onto the counter like a pool toy in a storm
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9. |
I Believe In Dancing
03:55
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I Believe In Dancing
hey there, would you rather have my seat?
this one leans back and on flights i never sleep
oh and thank you for not asking what i do
the only answer worse than silence is the truth
cause somewhere up there is a gavel
but i’m not sure there’s a judge
so come on get up take my hand now
lately i dont believe in much
but i believe in dancing
i believe it can heal a soul
i believe in our bodies
i believe we’re here after all
well in that case i will have a coffee too
i’ve been running since i tumbled from the womb
heading back to see the kids i left last june
yeah my favorite cure for thinking is to move
if home’s a snowbank bring a shovel
that’s what daddy always said
i know you’re thinking i’m in trouble
but can i trouble you instead?
besides don’t tell me you’re not tempted
to set that novel on your seat
throw open our aisle exit
and let the wind control our feet
cause i believe in dancing
i believe it can heal us all
i believe in our bodies
i believe we’re here after all
sooner or later the pleasure’s an ache
sooner or later the truth’s a mistake
sooner or later the wedding’s a wake
sooner or later the condom will break
but i believe in dancing
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10. |
Hyphen
03:49
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i hate to hear you think aloud
rehearsing my eulogy from the couch
maybe if i leave we’ll figure out
how i misread your envy for dreams out loud
i am a hyphen, curling in the sun
born in-between and prone to no one
but i am where you belong my love
don’t die beside someone wrong my love
at lunch you applaud my honesty
imagine i lived as well as i can speak
between what we do and what we are
is a perilous pause i can’t endure
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11. |
You Are My Compass
02:35
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You Are My Compass
you wouldn’t burn alive.
what kind of witch are you?
and when the embers die
we’ll dance on backs until they bruise
you conquered eyerolls friend
you taught yourself to speak
you drew your talons in
when you could have broken me
you are my compass
though night is thick and hope is bloodless
you are my compass
somehow you see
you are my compass
wounds from a friend they can be trusted
you are my compass
somehow you see
you never learned to drive
my roadway’s caving in
lately we rarely talk
but i could use some direction
i fear i’ll lose you soon
you are a wary thing
the earth’s a rotting crib
and time will ruin everything
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12. |
Human Math
06:46
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Human Math
the morning when i fell out of you
you nearly bled to death and i was a cold dark blue
there’s something broken about that human math
i never asked you if you thought it was worth all that
and if i say your name enough
you’ll never fade away
and if i say your name enough
you’ll never fade away
and if i say your name enough
you’ll yawn a few rooms away
and if i say your name enough
and it’s not your fault i am this way
and it’s not your fault you never sleep
and it’s not your fault the coffin waits
but it’s your fault i love you
the morning when i fell out of you
bit the umbilical and then looked around confused
is this really who i wanted to be?
and if i say your name enough
you’ll never fade away
and if i say your name enough
you’ll never fade away
and if i say your name enough
you’ll yawn a few rooms away
and if i say your name enough
i swore i’d pull the light from the gloom
swore i’d win at this and swore i’d do right by you
but things don’t always go as we plan
that dreaming infant had to die before i could stand
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